Watch out for little old ladies

[Cariboo]

Little old lady walking down the street, dragging two big garbage bags. One has a hole in it, and every now and then a $20 bill flutters out. A police man sees and stops the old lady. "ma'am" he says. "you're dropping money out of your bag"


the little old lady says "oh why thank you for telling me officer."


the officer scratched his head and said "where'd you get all that money? You didn't do anything illegal did you?"


the little old lady says "Oh, no. You see, I live right behind the football stadium, and every time there's a game, those drunken men stumble onto my property and relieve them selves in my garden. So I started standing in the bushes with my pruning shears and every time they stick their p**** through I tell them $20 or off it comes!"


The police man said "well, I guess that's one way to make some money. But if you don't mind my asking.....what's in the other bag?"


And the old lady says "Oh, well, not all of them pay."

[DLM]

The 2 names of drugs



In Pharmacology, all drugs have two names, a trade name and generic name. For example, the trade name of Tylenol also has a generic name of Acetaminophen. Aleve is also called Naproxen. Amoxil is also called Amoxicillin and Advil is also called Ibuprofen.


The FDA has been looking for a generic name for Viagra. After careful consideration by a team of


government experts, it recently announced that it has settled on the generic name of Mycoxafloppin. Also considered were Mycoxafailin, Mydixadrupin, Mydixarizin, Dixafix, and of course, Ibepokin.


Pfizer Corp announced today that Viagra will soon be available in liquid form, and will be marketed by Pepsi Cola as a power beverage suitable for use as a mixer. It will now be possible for a man to literally pour himself a stiff one. Obviously we can no longer call this a soft drink, and it gives new meaning to the names of 'cocktails', 'highballs' and just a good old-fashioned 'stiff drink'. Pepsi will market the new concoction by the name of:


'MOUNT & DO'.


Thought for the day: There is more money being spent on breast implants and Viagra today than on Alzheimer's research. This means that by 2040, there should be a large elderly population with perky boobs and huge erections and absolutely NO recollection of what to do with them.